Friday, February 20, 2009

I am who i am

I am who I am and I can’t change it.. I could not change myself even if try to. I did try to change myself before because I know my own weakness but I could not make it last long cause I could not bear it.. Even if I succeed to change myself, sooner or later, the real me will just come out because it is not me. Someday you might find this thing out that but it is not now for sure and I hope it is not too late at that time. 

For now, I could only try not to go overboard and control myself but still sometimes, somehow I will accidently do or say what I should not and this hurts your feelings and I’m sorry about that. I just act as if I didn’t notice it when I hurt your feeling but actually I do. It is so obvious that you still keep in your heart what I did before because I noticed that your attitude towards me is different compare to last time. Couldn’t you forgive me sometimes? And sometimes i irritate you when i care too much about you. I know this thing also but it is who i am and I could not pretend as if i don't care when i know something is wrong.

I know I got a lot of weaknesses and who doesn’t have 1? I know I’m not a sweet talker, so I could not sweet talk you to forgive me. So, I could only leave hope to the time to heal the wound eventhough I know it is not the right way it suppose to be. I want to keep quiet until you cool down yourself because I am afraid that I would make things even worst by saying something that I should not. But sometimes leaving it just like that is what makes things even worst.

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